Pretend: To give a false appearance of being/behave so as to make it appear that something is the case when in fact it is not.

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Let’s talk about the word ‘PRETEDING’ today.

I don’t think I would be wrong if I say that we all have pretended at some point in our lives and we all have different reasons for it.

Here is my question for you;

Why do you pretend? Why do you feel the need to pretend? Has pretending done you any good?

If you ask me if I have pretended, my answer is yes. I pretend 90% of the time just to avoid confrontations.

My cousin Somboi Khaute says pretending is more of a defense mechanism to cope with the inability to meet either the unrealistic or realistic expectations set by society or family. You can also check his blogs solely based on ‘Psychology’ at

And according to my cousin Grace, people pretend for social acceptance.

One of my mentors, brother Meigui says that pretending can give you satisfaction or comfort for some time but not long. He also adds ‘How long can one cover a flame with cloth? it will turn to inferno eventually.’

The other reasons I got were not wanting to worry or hurt their love ones, out of guilt, for peace of mind or to avoid unwanted situations. Some said its necessity and some pretends out of love.

Each of their reasons on pretending might be different but their conclusion was the same and that is nothing good comes out of pretending, it can also make one feel physically and mentally drained.

So why do we still pretend? Why pretend to be what we are not? How long will can keep pretending? And at what cost? Wouldn’t it be better if we stop pretending?

If you pretend to protect your love one’s, how long till they find out? Be it good or bad don’t they deserve the truth? If it for beauty, it doesn’t matter because you are beautiful/handsome in your own unique way. And if it is because of society than who cares what they think, they will still judge you no matter what. Just be true to yourself and be confident in who you are. Only you know what life has put you through and the struggle you faced to be where you are today.

“Be unapologetically you”

                                             Pierre Alex Jeanty


#Let me know what your thoughts are on pretending in the comment section down below.

The introvert writer © 2021

Published by

Daphny Aqua

A passionate writer who pours out her heart in her writtings.

32 thoughts on “PRETENDING”

  1. I believe that when we learn to fully embrace ourselves our minds are opened to the possibilities of achieving anything. Living by others’ terms is sometimes good but most of the time, i think, it hinders us to realise the things we can accomplish living our own way. Ofcourse own efforts also plays an important part but yeah.. 😅pretending is not an answer.
    “Vell” said U Hoi 👏😁

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Mo 🙏☺️😁 And I agree with you, having an opening our minds to possibilities of achieving anything is very important its how we can grow and evolve. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts, feel free to do so anytime. 🙂🙃


  2. An important question, Daphny. I think we all do it to some extent, yet I will say that as I’ve aged the pretending, or what I’ve also termed performance, is much more limited. It is better I think to be true to who we really are, as your mentor mentioned, continuing to pretend will bring us pain eventually. Excellent post.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Very insightful piece. Enlightening. My grandma used to pretend she was sick to draw her sons attention towards her I think. The result of it was painful. Of course, she succeeded in getting the attention she demanded but later when everyone realised her iconoclastic nature, she used to be ignored more often than before. And when she finally fell really sick, no one could tell the difference in her condition. And she died a painful death. Pretense, or even much worse – hypocrisy, makes people live in fear and constant doubt. 👏💖

    Liked by 1 person

  4. “Just be true to yourself and be confident in who you are.” These words ring true when it comes to matters of offering your true self to the eyes of the world. Thank you for this and sharing ~🕊

    Liked by 1 person

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